Monday, October 12, 2009

James Franco to General Hospital

Dear James Franco,

It’s come to our attention that your career took an unfortunate and surprising turn for the worse recently, when you agreed to guest-star in several upcoming episodes of General Hospital. Yes, General Hospital, the soap opera. James, you’re handsome. You’re talented. You held your own next to Sean Penn’s Oscar-winning performance in “Milk”. And most importantly, you have 2009’s Hottest Eyes. All our patients think so. So why are you voluntarily going from Academy-Award winning films to Port Charles?! We’re the doctors here, James. We’re ordering you get your career on life support, stat. Perhaps you need to use those perfect peepers to see yourself as we see you. Remember- you were in Freaks and Geeks. You’re better than this. Please fix.

With love,

The Beverly Hills Institute

PS- Blepharoplasty is a perfect way to get rid of dark, baggy undereyes, often a side effect of lying awake at night wondering why James Franco would do this to himself.

1 comment:

  1. HA! Cute pseudo-letter to James!
    It's obvious he doesn't need any plastic surgery either! After all, he is UN-IMPROVABLE! That's the decision rendered at

    James Franco: Unimprovable | Science has confirmed what we've long suspected: James Franco is the prettiest person in the world. After his picture was put through a "beautification engine" that uses a mathematical formula to alter the face into a more attractive form, he looks exactly the same. [NYT]

    * Posted at 5:27PM on Oct 09, 2008
    * Filed Under: James Franco


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